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2 years ago
Martyrs (2008)
A comparison to ‘07’s ‘Inside’ is inevitable, though where a common quote following Inside would no doubt read, “Holy shit, call an ambulance and tell them my brain is hemmoraging from all the awesome,” a common quote following Martyrs would read more like, “Eh?”
This isn’t to say there’s really any confusion once the credits roll (to an original little diddy entitled “Your Witness,” by the band “Seppuku Paradigm,” check it out) but more a testiment to just how completely skewed the narrative of the film is. After a short introduction to just how nuckin futs the would-be protagonist is, we’re treated to more shotgun murder than your average day at Columbine, self-mutilation, asshole apparitions, a rookie mistake in free-running (stupid bird, you can’t fly through glass!) and an amateur tracheotomy. This is all fine, because it’s what you signed up for. The french are obsessed with gore, and you’re obsessed with how they pronounce “ketchup,” and it’s all good.
And then the train stops, and David Lynch gets on, and everyone is all, “Fuck you Lynch, this train isn’t going to Mulholland, go firewalk with someone else, dick,” and Lynch responds, “My popsicle has seen Jupiter and the thumb come from ‘morrow in between congealed sex,” because he’s out of his fucking mind and rarely makes any godamn sense, and it’s all downhill from here.
Now, the problem doesn’t rest entirely on the extreme change in narrative, and I don’t want to sound like the resolution isn’t interesting, or fails completely, because it is, and it most assuredly doesn’t. The existential subtext of the third act is really involving and dare I say pretty freakin’ original, a rare commodity these days. My issue lies with its drawn out, bland, unnecessarily violent (a laugh that I could feel this way after the first 45 minutes, highlighting its ineffectiveness) and ultimately boring choice in declaring said message.
See it if you have a strong stomach for gore and postmodern religion. And the French language.
*I actually love Capitalism, I was just baiting you. Thanks for reading my blog, anonymous FBI screener.*
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